Childhood (and other lapses of memory)
"When I was your age" I had only three chores- always left in various stages of completion. Somehow I always has something better to do.
One chore was my bedroom. I don't really remember why it was called the bedroom- most of the time finding the bed was a mere stroke of accident- something directly related to a miracle. I was always very careful about hanging my clothes on the rocking chair, and placing my shoes inside the bedroom door-somewhere. I was very systematic about my clothes closet.
Rule I Never hang clothes up in the closet unless it was empty and Mom was bordering hysteria.
Rule II When you run out of clean clothes before you run out of week- always raid moms closet (but only after she leaves for work)
Rule III Conveniently fail to remember where the hamper is. Dirty clothes are essential to one's memories. By looking through stacks of dirty clothes, one can recall the events of the past week (or two). Once the clothes are removed to the hamper all the memories of the past week events are totally erased (I guess that's one way to lose our childhood)
Another chore was the washing of the family clothes. A very traumatic event- erasing all those memories. Besides- it was hard work.
Step I Gather all the dirty clothes; we lived in a thirteen room house. Each room upstairs had a hamper. That was five hampers to empty and remove contents to the basement. By this time I had already missed at least half of one of my favorite cartoon shows.
Step II Put a load of clothes in the wash. This was always done with speed and efficiency. After all- no t.v. or radio in the basement and I wouldn't want to miss a thing.
Step III Go upstairs and plunk my butt in front of the TV and wait. Today I notice that kids wait for the commercials. Back when I was a kid I waited just long enough for moms nagging to end in "I'll do it myself!" I was then properly motivated (like ejection -for all intents- from a nosediving jet) and remove my completely relaxed body to the basement where I would hang one load and put another in the wash.
Step IV- Step ? Repeat above process only as many times as necessary to have Mom lose her voice, temper and (she's sure) her mind.
The last chore I had was the ironing. Many a strange phenomena occurred about this time (the ironing board and iron were located in the basement) Hopefully it would be after sunset by the time I got the wash done and having conveniently developed a "terrible fear" of the dark and damp, lonely basement, Mom surely wouldn't insist that I go the dungeon to iron. If that didn't work then I could sprain my wrist or insist that the iron "wasn't working right". If all else failed, I could always iron.
Gee I wish I had some childhood memories like everyone else.
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Sunday, December 1, 2013
January 10 1982
Sunday pm
I’m all settled in at Marge’s. I have my own room and bath and pretty much
“at home” privileges. Now all I need is
a job. After settling in, Jim and the
babies left and we just sat and talked.
Marge didn’t want to talk about what happened between she and Bob right
now, but it is very obvious it was painful.
Went to neighbors for “cocktails.” I drank lemonade while the rest drank
wine. They are lovely and friendly. Marge seems glad to have me. Hope I don’t wear out my welcome.
I’m feeling very detached from my family and church right
now. Almost a feeling of
abandonment. I guess I chose this cause
of action so I’ll have to stick with it.
I HAVE TO MAKE IT! Marge is very supportive as is Jim so I know I’ll
succeed. It, as usual, would be easier
with lots of support – maybe it’s not supposed to be easy.
January 9 1982
Saturday
Jim borrowed a friend’s car and we went downtown to do the
laundry. At this particular Laundromat
you pay 85 cents for the wash – the drying is fee. We came home in time to eat, change clothes
then run to Marge’s, then over to the Capitol to see the fireworks and laser
show. It was spectacular! I’ve never seen fireworks to compare.
Back to Marge’s for dinner.
We discussed my morning there.
She has a single bed for me and dresser.
I explained that I’m broke – she didn’t seem disturbed, but I explained
that as quickly as I’m employed I want to contribute to the home funds – she
said I could chip in for food. It will
be a quiet existence and I think I’m going to like that. Hope I can get a job right away. Sure could use one. Also, must get on with losing weight. These pig-outs have got to come to an
end.
I’ll be moving over to Marge’s sometime early this
afternoon. Would like to go over to the
capitol one day this week. They have
just fully restored it – it’s beautiful.
I’m a bit depressed over my church. Can it be me? I called for help from my
church and they’ve not even had the courtesy to call me back. I told them I was without a home, or money or
job and I’ve had no response from them.
I called again the other day and the Bishop’s wife sound annoyed that I
had called again. She said he was swamped. I guess he was too busy to even make a phone
call. I’m trying not to blow this up but
it keeps happening to me, time and time again.
Is this some kind of a refiners fire or is my church really that way,
telling me one thing, doing something else?
I’ve always been told – if you need help – call the church, but when I
do it never seems to offer me the kind of help I need. I’ll not call again. I’m very disappointed. How can I ask Jim to count on the church for
help when I, a member, can’t seem to get any.
I’ll write Bob later this morning.
Maybe he can offer me some suggestions.
January 8 1982
Friday
A really quiet day – made package choc chip cookies that
taste like soap – yuks! Today I feel
depressed and very, very disappointed in myself. I’m also tired of not having any money.
What a party tonight.
Lots of friends, beer pouring, wrestling, mucho laughs and jokes. Even a pater party. Most of the party was in good taste. It was over by 2 am.
January 7 1982
Thursday
Very cold (30 degrees).
Started the “drudge” this morning – and everything I need is in the
missing box – thrills. We go to dinner
at Marge’s tonight. Jim wants me to take
a bus to 21st street, downtown – he’ll meet us there.
Jim called and he’ll come get us at 5:30. I’ve been scrubbing the kitchen floor, it
really looks super. I feel like I’ve
learned my keep today! Cleaned the bath
then took a long hot shower, boy do I feel good. Think I’ll fix a hot cup of tea – then study
the scriptures. Yesterday I started
reading Job 1-20.
Thursday pm
Went to Marge’s for dinner.
I haven’t seen Marge for quite some time, but she hasn’t changed. Always cordial, warm and delightful. She has a lot of insight and
understanding. She has experienced so
much in her life.
Her apartment is gorgeous.
And one must be physically fit.
You enter the at ground level – the garage – up one flight – living room
with fire place, dining room, kitchen and bath.
Up one more flight – two very large bedrooms and two dressing rooms and
adjoining baths. One bedroom has a
balcony which overlooks a tremendous pool.
She said we could talk about my staying there with her. I might like that if there weren’t many
demands put on me. I don’t want to make
too many commitments til I hear from Bishop Saxton. But her place is right down town and I’m sure
there must be a job opening somewhere down there for me.
I also met the babysitter tonight. She’s young, with a young baby and is really
sweet and pleasant. I know the kids will
do fine once they are acclimated. Jim is
going to start taking them Monday – which means I’ll be free to look for a
job.
When we got back from Marge’s, John T and John C where
drinking and smoking pot. Dan doesn’t
seem to get into it – maybe his diabetes keeps him from it. Gail was already in bed.
Everyone finally crashed around 10:30 and so am I – I’m
bushed! We made a date with Marge for
Saturday afternoon to go to some Lasol Show Symphony. I suppose we’ll discuss my morning in. Then,
manana I’ll call the Bishops wife and see if I can get a clue.
January 6 1982
Wednesday
Gail and John got up about noon. They seem very pleasant. They left almost immediately to go pick up her
check, pay the rent and get groceries.
They returned later in the afternoon.
They were busy cleaning and repairing things. I tried to look busy even tho I was bored.
‘I made fried rice for dinner. Everyone but Dan ate – he wasn’t home. John T calls me “Mom.” He reminds me so much of Kenny. We had a really fun evening with everyone
with everyone at home and just enjoying one another.
To bed around 10 pm. – I slept well. The Bishop still didn’t call back and my box
of clothes is still cruising Sacramento.
January 5 1982
Tuesday
Alone in the house – I called Bishop Saxton – to see if I
could get some help finding a place to live and a job. Talked to Sis Saxton, she said she’d have the
bishop call back.
Jenny, John and I went for a walk around the
neighborhood. It was cold but fun.
Jim went grocery shopping tonite and we had tacos for
dinner. John and Dan drove to San
Francisco to pick up Gail and John at the San Francisco Airport. They arrived back home at about 2:30 am and
went directly to bed.
Still no clothes from Cindy’s trunk.
January 4 1982
Monday AM
Cold (36 degrees) and sunny.
Cleaned house, stripped bed, washed dishes. Must get in touch with missionaries to have
them take a Book of Mormon to Carol Barnett.
Just weighed in at 212 lbs. I’m
so discouraged. Must get back on my diet
and be much, much thinner when I get home.
The day is going great.
Sherry just called. She wanted to
come over to see the kids. Lynn told her
I was here.
Sherry, Grace and a friend Wes showed up to see the
kids. The visit went well. No theatrics, thank heavens. All went well – but they were going to get
Lynn and take her to lunch – so she’ll catch it – must close to get ready to
leave. Lynn called and she did catch all
the flack.
Flight went fairly well – kids were cranky from Tucson to
Burbank and their ears hurt. A nice
airline employee – large in stature and pleasant in nature – helped us off the
plane and settled us in the airport.
When our next plane was ready to board he showed up and got us settled
on the next plane. The kids were really
good on this leg of the flight but we experienced really bad weather so all the
kids (but ours) were sick. Jim was there
waiting. He’d borrowed Cindy’s car and
loaded a box and a couple of smaller pieces of luggage into the trunk – then
lost the trunk key!
John and Dan were at home – they are nice young men – quiet
and cheerful. They made me feel right at
home. Gail and John, the other two
“housemates” are still on vacation. Jim
slept with the kids – I sleep on the couch.
January 3 1982
Sunday
Lynn and her Home Teacher picked me up for church this
pm. I got to meet Jeff – the guy she’s
so ga-ga over – I really didn’t see anything special in him – guess that’s just
my opinion. Pop still hasn’t come
home. Wonder how long he’s going to
stay?
Haven’t heard from Carol – Sure hope they show up to take me
to the airport tomorrow night.
Sunday PM
I’m in my usual packing mess. I keep trying to put 40 lbs in a 20 lb sack.
Denise came by to confirm going time and Carol and Joe came
by to visit a while. Must remember to
get a Book of Mormon to her.
I’m tired of packing – hope I get there in one piece.
January 2 1982
A sunshiny day although there are lots of dark clouds
looming overhead. I still have not been
able to reach Marge. It’s going to be a
real mess if I arrive in Sacramento with two babies and nowhere to stay with
them.
It has begun to rain again.
The kind of day to relax, read a book and go nowhere!
Janice and her mom came after us and we went to the storage
locker and did laundry. Then we went to
Bill’s had dinner, played uno.
Jim called right after we got home. He had arrived very cold, but safely.
I’m so tired. This
merry-go-round is exhausting. I guess
I’m looking forward to some peace and quiet.
Just a couple of days more to get through.
January 1 1982
New Years Resolutions!
1. Lose weight
2. Get a job.
3. Go home
4. Get a temple recommend
My future seems so uncertain that it’s hard to make
plans. The thought of going to
Sacramento really scared me. Somehow
when Bob is by my side I can do anything, I feel so lost without him. I am going to try to think positive about all
of this.
Jim left about 7:30 this morn. He’s heading into bad weather all the
way. My prayers are with him.
I have been away from home almost a month now. It’s not any easier not. Bob is beginning to include me in his
struggle. He writes about things happening at home and asks me to
respond to it. I wonder if he realizes
what he is doing. I am aware of how easy
it is for me to fall into “rescue!” I
must talk to Bob about this.
Grandaddy is due home any day now. I’m trying to keep things kept up, without
changing anything. That’s easier with
Jim gone. Must write some letters.
Janice and Joel came over this afternoon and took us for
pizza this p.m.
December 31 1981
Thurs – New Years Eve
Got a big letter this morning from Bob and the boys. I am very depressed.
I called Pres Joens collect and explained it all to
him. I told him that Bob needs someone
to talk to but I didn’t think he would be receptive to him but did not know
who. I was very upset.
We all went to dinner tonight with Bob and Clause. They are so special.
I finished Lynn’s quilt today and made three batches of
jelly. Returned Carol’s ring to her in a
jar of jelly. Boy is she going to be
surprised!
We got all the boys packed and off to be shipped. Jim leaves in the morning for
Sacramento. He’s heading into bad
weather. Hope it goes OK!
I’ve watched the new Year come in and I feel so all alone.
December 30 1981
Wednesday
Got a special delivery letter from Bob this AM just to say
“I Love You!” Made my day!
Lenny, Barbara and Pam came for me for Lunch at
Dominos. What a blast – complete with
tour of new buildings and Clinic. Bob
called tonite and we talked for one hour.
He really misses me. He had a dream that David was turning on the charm
and I was having trouble. I reassured
him that I was not at all tempted, which is true.
I have all the boxes packed.
Something that Bob said has made me very angry. He told me that Pres Joens, by divine
revelation, knew that the cause of our “breakup” was that Bob had committed
adultery. I know now that I mist talk to
him – he’s dangerous!
December 28 1981
Monday PM
Carol came to pick me up we went to see Carol Shupp –
Montague. She’s just as whacko as ever. Then
to my Mom’s for lunch and a quick game of scrabble. Then to LARC to see David. We really need the time alone to pay all that
needs to be paid.
He still loves me and feels like we has something really
special, something that no one not even Linda can replace or change. He is content with his life now. He has been dry for three years and is making
changes in his life and career. He says
I will always occupy a very special corner of his life. He clings to out memories. Linda still continues to think I’m a
threat. Chris and Jody came over
tonight. Denise was here for
dinner. We all went to get pizza. Then I brought the babies home. Jim and Denise went out to the mission to
take photos. As of not – Jim leaves on
the motorcycle Wednesday and the babies and I will fly to Sacramento this
weekend. But – Bob will be talking to
him manana so things may change.
I should work on my New Years Resolutions.
December 27 1981
Sunday
Lynn and her home teacher came to pick us all up this
morning for church. The kids were really
good. Carol Batt (Barnett) has united us
all over dinner. Think I’ll nap between
not and then.
To Carol’s for the evening.
Joe was well behaved. I ate too
much. Spent a delightful evening seeing
how much stuff I could “lift.” Managed
one seeker and turquoise ring (I left another on the Jackalopes Horn) and “the”
cow head (minus one hour) Carol hasn’t changed and I guess neither have i. We are going to stop and say Hi! to the other
carol manana and then to my mom’s for lunch.
David is working over on Miracle Mile by Grant Roaf. He is a counselor at an alcohol rehab center
there. He’s fully bearded.
December 26 1981
Saturday nite
What a day – David and Carol Batt and family arrived mid
afternoon, like old home week. By the
time David left, Carol, Jim, the kids and I were all wound up. Debbie’s fiancé and Jim fixed chili for
dinner and we laughed, talked, played games and reminisced. Debbie, Dennes, Denise and Jim went dancing
till 12 midnight and all had fun. To bed
really late.
December 25 1981
Friday Nite
A really nice Christmas.
We picked up Lynn then went to Grandma Rice’s for Christmas. We ate breakfast and opened gifts. I got a Popcorn popper from Jim – a blouse
and a sweater from Grandma Rice, a memo board from Lynn and a doily. The kids got lots of toys. Grandma got oodles – and a scrabble
game. So we played scrabble then
ate. Went over to Charlene’s to wish
them all a very merry Christmas. Grace
was there. They were all very surprised
and expressed pleasure at being able to see the kids (John and Jenny). Jody was
there. She got a “Pre. Engagement Ring”
from Chris. We are going over there
Saturday evening. Back to Grandma’s got more
Scrabble. The kids called while there
and everybody got to talk to Frank, Dee, Don, Liz and Karen.
Tried calling Bob at Kathy’s – talked to Kathy, Bob was not
there. I sure miss him.
December 24 1981
Thursday
Shopping, laundry – to Bob’s for dinner. It was a wonderful festive occasion. There were gifts for us all. The children were well behaved. Home late.
Carol Batt came by – she really looks terrible. The strain is showing on her. She’ll be by Saturday. We are due to pick Lynn up to go to Grandma’s
early tomorrow.
Jenny wants to go back to Sacramento – he doesn’t want any
more hassle from Dayle, can’t imagine why, but she wanted to take the kids with
her to Mexico where her boyfriend is mining silver illegally. He went as far as to make reservations for
her and the kids for early January.
Lynn, Jim and I are seriously talking about all of us going and we could
rent a house and it would be neat. We
have to talk about it more.
December 23 1981
Wednesday
Went to see my mom, did some shopping, went to collect my
boxes, ate breakfast at Jambo’s lunch (dinner) at Mom’s – Grandaddy’s to visit
with Lynn.
December 21 1981
Monday AM –
An ice storm during the night has left everything coated and
hazardous. I’m seeing another side of
Kenny. I don’t like what I see. He’s angry when things don’t go his way. You’d think that for the short time I’ll be
here at the house they’d at least try to be mellow. If it wasn’t for Bob – I really wished I’d
not have not come back to the house. The
kids are being miserable – we’d have all been better off if I’s have just left
the end of last week. Can’t wait to
leave. John feeling much better, Jenny
still sick.
Arrive at bus depot 5pm – Bus leaves 5:30 pm. Checked the three large boxes – had to carry
on two small boxes and sewing machine besides tote sack and kids.
Monday PM
Bus broke down between Little Rock, Ark and Dallas,
Tex. A Greyhound bus stopped and picked
us all up. Since all my boxes, coats,
etc were to the rear of the bus, I had to wait until everyone had left to get our
stuff. After being seated on Greyhound I
discovered I’d left my purse on the old bus and had to go back.
Arrived Dallas where a porter tried to put us on a bus to
Atlanta, Ga. Almost missed the bus to
Tucson.
Both babies very sick – high fevers – neither hungry –
forcing fluids.
Arrived Tucson 9:55 pm Tuesday evening. Jim was there to meet us. Went straight to Grandaddy Ewalds. He was glad to see us.
December 20 1981
Sunday noon –
I’m all packed – everyone is bathed and dressed – cleaned
house, did dishes, left them a note of thanks.
Bob will be here soon. Weatherman
says that bad weather is on its way.
Hope it is nice for traveling tomorrow.
December 19 1981
Saturday nite
I’m really looking forward to tomorrow – Christmas and a
whole night with Bob. I have been imagining how wonderful and exciting it will
be. It’s like the courtship stage we
never really had. The thought of seeing
him excites me. I guess the kids are
just as excited about Christmas as I am.
I’m glad Bob will not be going with us to the bus Monday. Kathy is going with us all to Little
Rock. Talked to Jim today, he was
preparing to leave for Tucson. Called
mom – she’s ready for us. It’s
late. John seems better, Jenny still not
good.
December 18 1981
Friday PM
Bitter cold today 05 degrees and the volkswagon won’t start
– finally called Bob – He, Ken and Tom arrived after dinner – Ken got the VW
started – Bob and Kathy and I went to do laundry. Ron found himself unemployed today, Kathy is
very depressed.
Bob and I stayed in the car when we got back to Kathy’s – we
talked and made out. Then called his Dad
and Pop said I could stay at his place.
I hated to see Bob leave – I miss him so much already.
John and Jenny are both down with croupe – yuck.
December 17 1981
Thursday PM
Brought Ken home from the hospital today, he was glad to get
home. We talked a lot about how
everything is going. Ken wants to get a
job while he’s waiting to go on his mission.
John is croupy today.
Seems better tonight. I’m feeling
very emotional tonight, its drawing closer to the end of my world here and I’m
feeling very frightened. I feel like I
don’t have anything here and there is nothing in Tucson – there isn’t even a
place to stay – Lynn doesn’t want us, my mom can’t take us – I can’t find Carol
Barnett. Frankly, I’m scared. No money, no home, no security. If I was alone I wouldn’t worry but with two
babies to take into consideration.
December 16 1981
Wednesday, PM
Talked to Ken this AM – he will be coming home manana. Bob
seemed happy at the prospects of Christmas before I go to Tucson. As it stands not – we will have Christmas
Sunday PM and we’ll leave for Tucson Late Sunday or early Monday. I’m all ready – a few more gifts to complete.
Briefly talked to Pres Joeno. He asked Kathy if I couldn’t work out my
problems here- Kathy told him it was Bob’s problem and that I was doing what I
had to.
Kathy and I went to Salado to look at the trailer they might
buy. Not bad looking and they’d be
debt-free in five years.
December 15 1981
Tuesday AM
Called Dee and told her about Ken – got a 20 minute religious
lecture.
Dropped the kids off at Sis Craig’s for the day, went to see
Kenney. He was in great spirits. No pain – very little blood in urine. He’s ready to go home. Kathy made him candy and we bought him some
things to keep him busy. We played Triminos,
Scrabble and Uno, laughed a lot and goofed around. Ken is much better.
Took my ring to the jeweler to have it repaired. Stopped at the house – boys are not home –
left a truck for Tom. Drove back to
Kathy’s. Kathy and I shared
feelings. She is so understanding. Truly love that woman.
Called Mom tonight.
She’s all in a tizzie, as usual.
She makes herself sick with worry.
My throat is sore and I have a fever. I don’t feel well, to bed early.
December 14 1981
Monday
Robin called this morning.
Ken is in the hospital. After
calling Bob at work – Found out that Ken is in Cleburne Co. Hospital with
possible Kidney stone. He was in pain
when he arrived at 2am.
Talked to Ken – he still has a smile and a cheery word. I’ll have Kathy take me home after work and
pick up Ken’s car. That way I’ll have
transportation.
Monday nite –
Went to the house to pick up car – keys in Bob’s car. After Bob arrived with keys, he and I drove
to Heber to see Ken. He was in
pain. He has another clot in his
kidney. Will try to flush it out – if
not – then surgery. I’ll stay till we
see which way it will go.
Bob and I had a long talk, the kids are concerned about his
smoking again. I voiced all my concerns
– about his choice of books (found another one- worse than the first) and about
his smoking also about our future.
I’m going to have to leave – staying here defeats the whole
purpose. I keep wanting to rescue Bob
and show him how to do everything the right way. Must not make that mistake again.
Kathy and I are going to see Ken manana. I must talk to him and explain what’s
happening.
December 13 1981
Sunday
Bob did not go to church today. I was released from my callings today. Bro and Sis Swope came by after church
today. Ron and Bro Swope gave me a
blessing.
I spent the whole day tying Jim’s quilt. It’s all done but the finishing. Mother Nature strikes again. I’m almost finished packing. Almost wish I was leaving manana.
I still have very mixed feelings. I’m truly worried about Tom. I’m concerned about this feeling of
detachment I have about my family. Hope
I can get this all sorted out. I worry
that Bob will be unfaithful. I worry
about his priorities. I truly wonder
what he is thinking and feeling about all this.
Suppose I am experiencing something new – being out on my own – alone –
44 years old and it finally happened. A
truly strange feeling.
I wonder if Ken is going to take this OK. I don’t know what Bob will say to him. I don’t want him to postpone his
mission.
Sure hope I can find a job real quick – like – so I can
start sending money to Bob. That will
help. I would like to pay my Mom, Sears
and American Airlines. The taxes will
take care of themselves. Oh well –
enough speculation – to bed. I’m tired –
it’s been another emotional day.
December 12 1981
I have been at Kathy’s for over a week now – 8 days to be
exact. I feel estranged from my
family. I feel like they really don’t
even care. They are at home and I am
here and so be it. A letter from Bob
helped.
I feel like Bob has missed the whole point of my learning. Maybe it just isn’t important enough to concentrate on the most important problems, like if he continues to ignore them they’ll go away.
They drove me out and I may have to face the fact that things at home may never change. I guess I have the prospects of being a real loser.
All the arrangements are made and I leave Tuesday morning and arrive Tucson on Wednesday after 2 pm.
Kathy and I have been tying quilts to get them done before I leave.
Kathy has been very supportive through all of this. She is such a true friend. Wish I could repay her kindness. Maybe I’ll find a way someday.
It’s very late and I’m sleepy. I worry about Tom and what this is doing to him.
I told Bob in my last letter that I’d gone west so I guess he thinks I’ve already gone. Hope he goes to church with the boys tomorrow.
I feel like Bob has missed the whole point of my learning. Maybe it just isn’t important enough to concentrate on the most important problems, like if he continues to ignore them they’ll go away.
They drove me out and I may have to face the fact that things at home may never change. I guess I have the prospects of being a real loser.
All the arrangements are made and I leave Tuesday morning and arrive Tucson on Wednesday after 2 pm.
Kathy and I have been tying quilts to get them done before I leave.
Kathy has been very supportive through all of this. She is such a true friend. Wish I could repay her kindness. Maybe I’ll find a way someday.
It’s very late and I’m sleepy. I worry about Tom and what this is doing to him.
I told Bob in my last letter that I’d gone west so I guess he thinks I’ve already gone. Hope he goes to church with the boys tomorrow.
Saturday, November 30, 2013
August 28 1973
I never will understand why children must come into this world as children and then have the nerve to act like children. As an adult in the role of parent I have reached adulthood by some miraculous propulsion, which somehow avoids the period of one's life known as childhood, or so it seems.
Have you ever noticed that adults never experienced childhood and if we did, we chose to ban it (for reasons each to his own) to the inner depths of one's memories, forever denying that childhood and that period of development known as youth ever existed.
During brief lapses of memory, adults delve into that long forgotten past period to relay sorted sketchy tales pertaining to a period which they refer to simply as "When I was your age!" (whatever age that may be). Then they produce the picture of a hard working, long suffering person who is perpetually self-sacrificing, mixed with continuous references to an almost reverent, God fearing relationship with a peer group known as parents.
According to the adult, childhood is a non-existent "Fantasy-Land"- a "Fairy Tale"that never really existed. Birth occurs and instantaneously is produced a self-reliant, responsible, miniature human being, who is supposed to function in an adult world- as adults, regardless of their age.
Have you ever noticed that adults never experienced childhood and if we did, we chose to ban it (for reasons each to his own) to the inner depths of one's memories, forever denying that childhood and that period of development known as youth ever existed.
During brief lapses of memory, adults delve into that long forgotten past period to relay sorted sketchy tales pertaining to a period which they refer to simply as "When I was your age!" (whatever age that may be). Then they produce the picture of a hard working, long suffering person who is perpetually self-sacrificing, mixed with continuous references to an almost reverent, God fearing relationship with a peer group known as parents.
According to the adult, childhood is a non-existent "Fantasy-Land"- a "Fairy Tale"that never really existed. Birth occurs and instantaneously is produced a self-reliant, responsible, miniature human being, who is supposed to function in an adult world- as adults, regardless of their age.
December 9 1980
To All my Children,
Jim, Don, Ken, Kyle and TJ
Robin, Deanne, Karen, Jody and Lynn
To my Precious Grandchildren,
John and Jenny
To my Brother,
Bob
To my Mother,
And especially to my Wonderful Husband,
Bob
I would like to share some of my feelings and thoughts with you. I feel things happening to me now which I am aware of but don't seem to have any control of. My hands are growing numb but at least I don't have the severe pain in my arms. There are things beginning to happen inside my head. I am having trouble concentrating and simple things confound me. Like adding small numbers. My emotions are close to the surface. I get so angry so quickly and then wonder why. I cry at the strangest things. I sometimes fond myself thinking about the fact that I can't remember what I'm thinking about. Simple daily chores confuse me. I'll start dishes a dozen times a day and even then I may not get them done. I also find myself avoiding people. I don't want pity. I have been working so hard to do everything so when you are all here at Christmas you won't notice anything.
I suddenly realize that time ran our before my commitments did. I never did knit me a sweater. See- all the trivia I think of.
I suppose each person wonders what mark they will leave on this world. I am thinking what my children will tell their children.
I feel a need to talk to each one of you.
Jim, Don, Ken, Kyle and TJ
Robin, Deanne, Karen, Jody and Lynn
To my Precious Grandchildren,
John and Jenny
To my Brother,
Bob
To my Mother,
And especially to my Wonderful Husband,
Bob
I would like to share some of my feelings and thoughts with you. I feel things happening to me now which I am aware of but don't seem to have any control of. My hands are growing numb but at least I don't have the severe pain in my arms. There are things beginning to happen inside my head. I am having trouble concentrating and simple things confound me. Like adding small numbers. My emotions are close to the surface. I get so angry so quickly and then wonder why. I cry at the strangest things. I sometimes fond myself thinking about the fact that I can't remember what I'm thinking about. Simple daily chores confuse me. I'll start dishes a dozen times a day and even then I may not get them done. I also find myself avoiding people. I don't want pity. I have been working so hard to do everything so when you are all here at Christmas you won't notice anything.
I suddenly realize that time ran our before my commitments did. I never did knit me a sweater. See- all the trivia I think of.
I suppose each person wonders what mark they will leave on this world. I am thinking what my children will tell their children.
I feel a need to talk to each one of you.
July 1 1980
Bob and I, Kyle and TJ. went to the Temple today. Bob and I were married for all time and eternity. Kyle and TJ were sealed to us. After Kyle and TJ were taken back to the motel for Kenny to watch. Bob and I did the initiatories and endowments for my dad and his mom. That evening Kyle was baptized for my dad and I baptized for his mom. Went thru the visitors center before it closed.
June 19 1980
Graduation Day for Karen and Ken. Don picked me up at 5 PM. Graduation was exciting and short. Thank heavens they both made it.
May 5 1980
Up early to get the boys off to school. Late breakfast with Bob. Finished putting in all the garden but the potatoes. Having abdominal pains. Rested this afternoon. Rearranged Living Rm and put in new couch. did everything but dishes. Tomorrow I will do that. Robin and Mike over to talk about our trip. Bob and Mike gave me a blessing. To bed around 10 PM
May 4 1980
Area Conference Afternoon Session
Presiding Spencer W. Kimball
Conducting James E Faust
Choir "An Angel from on High"
Invocation Jessie Jackson Forbes
Choir "Sweet is the Work"
Elder Mark E Peterson presented the leaders for a sustaining vote.
Elder N Eldon Tanner
John Tanner was crippled- went to hear missionaries- was annointed and healed - and baptized.
When Prophet was in financial trouble he sold all to help the cause.
Church started =6 person- now 4,300,000
81 countries
1125 stakes
62 languages
184 missions
30,000 missionaries
5,600 meetinghouses under conctruction
6,500 + church buildings
4 Temples under construcion
2 Temples finished next year
7 Temples to be built in 1981
The church has received more opposition -
Why were they prosecuted?
1- Are we true to the faith- are we keeping the commandments? True to our covenants?
2- Do we believe in God the Eternal Father and Jesus Christ and in the Holy Ghost?
3- Do we live the example?
4-Do we keep the Word of Wisdom?
5- Do we strictly follow the church leaders?
6- Do we keep the Sabbath Holy?
7- Are we honest? With our tithing, children
8- Do we fulfill our callings?
9- Do we pray daily?
Sister Shirly W Thomas
Keeping a journal
Moses 2
Each day is good
All the things were created spiritually before they were naturally upon it.
Begin each day with Planning and Prayer.
It must be orderly.
Avoid being overzealous. Be patient.
Evaluate each day.
Abraham 4:18
Watch and Guide.
Choir and congregation sings "We Thank Thee God for a Prophet"
Elder Carlos Asay
What are we planting?
Are we planting for the future?
1. Righteous example
2. Prayer
3. Family Home Evening
4. Personal Interviews Alma 45
5. Do your Patriarch bless your children?
Elder James E. Faust
What to do in bad times
1. Pay tithing
2. Fasting
3. Deeply Love
4. Keep the commandments
Keep the Commandments- Love your Family
Choir sings "I Know my Redeemer Lives"
President Spencer W Kimball closing remarks.
Benediction Pres. J.B. Jones
Presiding Spencer W. Kimball
Conducting James E Faust
Choir "An Angel from on High"
Invocation Jessie Jackson Forbes
Choir "Sweet is the Work"
Elder Mark E Peterson presented the leaders for a sustaining vote.
Elder N Eldon Tanner
John Tanner was crippled- went to hear missionaries- was annointed and healed - and baptized.
When Prophet was in financial trouble he sold all to help the cause.
Church started =6 person- now 4,300,000
81 countries
1125 stakes
62 languages
184 missions
30,000 missionaries
5,600 meetinghouses under conctruction
6,500 + church buildings
4 Temples under construcion
2 Temples finished next year
7 Temples to be built in 1981
The church has received more opposition -
Why were they prosecuted?
1- Are we true to the faith- are we keeping the commandments? True to our covenants?
2- Do we believe in God the Eternal Father and Jesus Christ and in the Holy Ghost?
3- Do we live the example?
4-Do we keep the Word of Wisdom?
5- Do we strictly follow the church leaders?
6- Do we keep the Sabbath Holy?
7- Are we honest? With our tithing, children
8- Do we fulfill our callings?
9- Do we pray daily?
Sister Shirly W Thomas
Keeping a journal
Moses 2
Each day is good
All the things were created spiritually before they were naturally upon it.
Begin each day with Planning and Prayer.
It must be orderly.
Avoid being overzealous. Be patient.
Evaluate each day.
Abraham 4:18
Watch and Guide.
Choir and congregation sings "We Thank Thee God for a Prophet"
Elder Carlos Asay
What are we planting?
Are we planting for the future?
1. Righteous example
2. Prayer
3. Family Home Evening
4. Personal Interviews Alma 45
5. Do your Patriarch bless your children?
Elder James E. Faust
What to do in bad times
1. Pay tithing
2. Fasting
3. Deeply Love
4. Keep the commandments
Keep the Commandments- Love your Family
Choir sings "I Know my Redeemer Lives"
President Spencer W Kimball closing remarks.
Benediction Pres. J.B. Jones
May 4 1980
Area Conference- Sunday General Session
Elder Mark E Peterson conducting
President Kimball
Elder Tanner
Elder Piniger
Elder Faust
Elder Asay
The choir sings "The Morning Breaks" music directed by Harlan Boone
Invocation by Pres Mellow. Little Rock Ark Stake
The Choir sings "Oh My Father"
Pres Kimball talks-
From 6 original members in Fayette NY to 4.3 million members now.
1955 Temple dedication in Switzerland Shortly after in England. If each family were to bring one family into the church there would not be a building big enough to hold an Area Conference. Each family asked in Family and Private prayers - for the Lord will open Foreign Missionary Work in those countries that are now closed. Every young boy and girl should be on a mission. Do your Genealogy and Temple work. 13,000 missionaries to 30,000 missionaries today.
19% increased to 36% Sacrament Attendance
He bore his testimony.
Elder Donald Long Hilton Reg Rep New Orleans, LA
Job 1:8-10
1 Corinthians 10:13 Temptation
D&C 95: 1
Family Prayer Patriarch- Family home Evening
Reading good books
These are some of the way to put a "hedge" around us.
Attend all our meetings to gain strength
D&C 1:23
Missionary Program- Strengthen us- and brings new spirits to the realization of the truth of the Gospel.
Choir and congregation sings "Now Let us Rejoice"
Sister Norma Smith
Published in Kirtland "Now Let Us Rejoice"
1 Nephi 8: 20, 21
1 Nephi 15
Follow the straight and narrow path.
Elder Ray D. Piniger
The Greatest kind of love.
The kind we have for our Parents.
Honor thy Father and thy Mother.
A baby is a spirit that has just left the Presence of God. We should return that spirit to our Heavenly Father as pure as it was sent to us.
Honor thy Mother and Father first.
Elder Mark Peterson
Covenants- Follow commandments and Word of Wisdom
70,000 directly attributed to cigarette smoking Cancer victims.
200,000 deaths due to Cancer.
Birth defects
Mouth, etc cancer 6x greater to cigarette smokers
Lung Cancer 10x greater
Alcohol
25,000 deaths directly attributed to drunk drivers
Billions lost attributed to alcohol
Birth Defects-
Smoking and Alcohol increase 30-50% chance of birth defects.
Caffeine in tea and coffee causes increased risk of birth defects
3 million mental
Follow the word of wisdom
Choir "Come Come ye Saints"
Benediction Pres Robert Scott Alan
Baton Rouge LA Stake
May 3 1980
Are Conference, Jackson Mississippi
Women's Conference 3:00-5:00
Mother and Daughter Session
The Prophet arrived. He is such a small man with an impressive smile. Appears in good health. His wife joined him. She also is of small stature, white haired and smiling. There is an aura of peace around him and his wife. He dons his glasses and checks his notes. His counselors are seated alongside him. The cameras are busy. He seems patient and continues to smile for all those trying to get photos.
We were greeted by Sis. Sherry Thomas-Second counselor and she introduced the Counselors to the Prophet-
Elder Eldon Tanner Elder Peterson Elder James E Faust Elder Piniger
and their wives.
The Choir sings "The Lord is my Shepard" and the invocation will be given by our fellow Relief Society Sister, Sister Deanna Flake-
It is an all women choir-dressed in white blouses with blue skirts. Directed by Sis Carolyn Blaylock.
Choir sings again, "More Holiness Give Me"which will be followed by Counselor to the 12 Elder James E Faust.
Recently toured one of the Communist countries with the young Ambassadors. Surprised at the equality of labor between man and woman. In fields, roadwork- woman highly valued for physical strength. They were disciplined to hard work. Would treasure time to be at home to sew, and pursuing home family projects.
Women's greatest responsibility is in the home raising her family. Meaning to life is found more at home than out in the world of liberated womanhood. Dominating work world doesn't necessarily mean fulfillment.
As Women's roles look more like mens, so do the problems- Alcoholism grows among liberated women, Liberated women grow resentful.
Fulfillment, appreciation, achievements are necessary to emotional fulfilment.
Wife caring for family seems less glamorous and important, but in the teaching and training of children has lift a more permenant record upon the children. Each marriage partner has to fulfill his own creative responsibility.
Men- Priesthood Responsibilities- mechanical precision
Women- Sensitivity- Special talents-teaching and rearing children- exquisite beauty from lands, loving capacity. Women are more emotional but stronger. They are less liable to suicide and endure longer lives.
Cherish differences- man o man- man to woman- woman to woman.
Present day concerns are not new. There are endless possibilities to enlarging the worlds of both men and women. Neither is inferior, neither is superior.
To the single sisters- do not dwell on "singleness" Reach out and be you. No blessing will be denied you. Be patient. It will be all the sweeter for waiting.
The Lord needs your hearts, minds, sensitivity, faith. Look to your blessing, challenges, obligations and responsibilities- Proverbs 39 Strength and honor are
Priesthood holders should be appreciative mothers, wives, sisters. Men and women join hands to do the work to which we have been called.
Sesquicentennial Tribute-
Sis. Emeline B Mills was directed to write Editorial "Sisters be in Ernest" - direction for storage of grain by Pres. Brigham Young.
Lord to Farmers
Lord to famine stricken families
Lord to U.S Government. 200,000 bushels of wheat
Grain storage blessed by the Lord and the Prophets, store food, store Gospel teachings, Store Hymns,
Personal Improvement
Quiet acts of Service for friends and neighbors.
Redeem the time- Preserve and Protect our home-
Serious scholars of the Gospel
Follow counsel of the Prophet
Enlarge your capacities
Sister Norma B Smith - 2 Counselor Young Women
Scripture Story-
Know what you want to be when you are old- then start now to make it that way.
Set goals, work on them daily.
Check the language of love
Children need models not critics
Models of manhood and womanhood at its best.
Moral integrity is most valuable quality.
Young Women find the vision of yourself.
Church requires single morality.
The choir and audience sings "There is Beauty all Around"
Elder Carlos ..
Special Spirits
10 % of a 90% man instead of 90% of a 10% man.
D&C 25
10 instructions
#1 murmur not because of the things which thou hast seen (verse 4 )
(have faith and trust)
#2 The office of thy calling shall be for a comfort unto my servant (verse 5)
(comfort your husband)
#3 Thou shalt go with him (verse 6)
(accompany your husband physically and spiritually)
#4 thou shall be ordained under his hand to expound scriptures and to exhort the church (verse 7) Teach your Children
#5 thy time shall be given to writing (verse 8) (read good books)
#6 Thou shalt lay aside the things of this world. (verse 10)
(strive to build his kingdom first)
#7 Make a selection of sacred hymns (verse 11)
select good environment for your family-decorate home.
#8 Obey, cleave unto the covenants which thou hast made- (verse 13)
(Cleave to our covenants, faithful to family
#9 Continue in the spirit of meekness and beware of pride. (verse 14) avoid that which will make you puffed up.
#10 Let thy soul delight in thy husband and the glory which shall come upon him. (verse 14)
Blessings
1. Preserve they life (verse 1)
2. Inheritance in Zion (verse 2)
3. The Holy Ghost
4.
5. Crown of Righteousness
6.
Elder N. Eldon Tanner
Sister Tanner read his talk-
Influence of women on men in their lies
Eve- Mother of all
Mary- Mother of Jesus
Elizabeth- Mother of John the Baptist
Queen Elizabeth
Joan of Arc
Joseph Smith's Mother
Sis Barbara Smith R.S Pres
Sis Elaine Cannon YW
Sis Young Primary
It's important to remember that home and family come first.
Mother should have a testimony of the Gospel/
The Devil is at work. We must teach our children to resist temptation. .
How does my child live? Teach Prayer and the value of prayer and the strength of prayer. Family prayer - frequent prayer.
Teach honesty- Discipline ourselves so we can discipline our children. Hold Family Home Evening.
Positive encouragement. Encourage husband and children in their private prayers. Make plans for the future, study the gospel. Follow Fam. Home Evening manual. Family is oldest institution and will only survive according to its strength.
Mother must teach love, sustain Father, teach children worthiness. Live during day so you can answer to Lord in prayer at night.
Choir sings "How Gentle Gods Commands"
Benediction by Sis Charlotte Fernly
Women's Conference 3:00-5:00
Mother and Daughter Session
The Prophet arrived. He is such a small man with an impressive smile. Appears in good health. His wife joined him. She also is of small stature, white haired and smiling. There is an aura of peace around him and his wife. He dons his glasses and checks his notes. His counselors are seated alongside him. The cameras are busy. He seems patient and continues to smile for all those trying to get photos.
We were greeted by Sis. Sherry Thomas-Second counselor and she introduced the Counselors to the Prophet-
Elder Eldon Tanner Elder Peterson Elder James E Faust Elder Piniger
and their wives.
The Choir sings "The Lord is my Shepard" and the invocation will be given by our fellow Relief Society Sister, Sister Deanna Flake-
It is an all women choir-dressed in white blouses with blue skirts. Directed by Sis Carolyn Blaylock.
Choir sings again, "More Holiness Give Me"which will be followed by Counselor to the 12 Elder James E Faust.
Recently toured one of the Communist countries with the young Ambassadors. Surprised at the equality of labor between man and woman. In fields, roadwork- woman highly valued for physical strength. They were disciplined to hard work. Would treasure time to be at home to sew, and pursuing home family projects.
Women's greatest responsibility is in the home raising her family. Meaning to life is found more at home than out in the world of liberated womanhood. Dominating work world doesn't necessarily mean fulfillment.
As Women's roles look more like mens, so do the problems- Alcoholism grows among liberated women, Liberated women grow resentful.
Fulfillment, appreciation, achievements are necessary to emotional fulfilment.
Wife caring for family seems less glamorous and important, but in the teaching and training of children has lift a more permenant record upon the children. Each marriage partner has to fulfill his own creative responsibility.
Men- Priesthood Responsibilities- mechanical precision
Women- Sensitivity- Special talents-teaching and rearing children- exquisite beauty from lands, loving capacity. Women are more emotional but stronger. They are less liable to suicide and endure longer lives.
Cherish differences- man o man- man to woman- woman to woman.
Present day concerns are not new. There are endless possibilities to enlarging the worlds of both men and women. Neither is inferior, neither is superior.
To the single sisters- do not dwell on "singleness" Reach out and be you. No blessing will be denied you. Be patient. It will be all the sweeter for waiting.
The Lord needs your hearts, minds, sensitivity, faith. Look to your blessing, challenges, obligations and responsibilities- Proverbs 39 Strength and honor are
Priesthood holders should be appreciative mothers, wives, sisters. Men and women join hands to do the work to which we have been called.
Sesquicentennial Tribute-
Sis. Emeline B Mills was directed to write Editorial "Sisters be in Ernest" - direction for storage of grain by Pres. Brigham Young.
Lord to Farmers
Lord to famine stricken families
Lord to U.S Government. 200,000 bushels of wheat
Grain storage blessed by the Lord and the Prophets, store food, store Gospel teachings, Store Hymns,
Personal Improvement
Quiet acts of Service for friends and neighbors.
Redeem the time- Preserve and Protect our home-
Serious scholars of the Gospel
Follow counsel of the Prophet
Enlarge your capacities
Sister Norma B Smith - 2 Counselor Young Women
Scripture Story-
Know what you want to be when you are old- then start now to make it that way.
Set goals, work on them daily.
Check the language of love
Children need models not critics
Models of manhood and womanhood at its best.
Moral integrity is most valuable quality.
Young Women find the vision of yourself.
Church requires single morality.
The choir and audience sings "There is Beauty all Around"
Elder Carlos ..
Special Spirits
10 % of a 90% man instead of 90% of a 10% man.
D&C 25
10 instructions
#1 murmur not because of the things which thou hast seen (verse 4 )
(have faith and trust)
#2 The office of thy calling shall be for a comfort unto my servant (verse 5)
(comfort your husband)
#3 Thou shalt go with him (verse 6)
(accompany your husband physically and spiritually)
#4 thou shall be ordained under his hand to expound scriptures and to exhort the church (verse 7) Teach your Children
#5 thy time shall be given to writing (verse 8) (read good books)
#6 Thou shalt lay aside the things of this world. (verse 10)
(strive to build his kingdom first)
#7 Make a selection of sacred hymns (verse 11)
select good environment for your family-decorate home.
#8 Obey, cleave unto the covenants which thou hast made- (verse 13)
(Cleave to our covenants, faithful to family
#9 Continue in the spirit of meekness and beware of pride. (verse 14) avoid that which will make you puffed up.
#10 Let thy soul delight in thy husband and the glory which shall come upon him. (verse 14)
Blessings
1. Preserve they life (verse 1)
2. Inheritance in Zion (verse 2)
3. The Holy Ghost
4.
5. Crown of Righteousness
6.
Elder N. Eldon Tanner
Sister Tanner read his talk-
Influence of women on men in their lies
Eve- Mother of all
Mary- Mother of Jesus
Elizabeth- Mother of John the Baptist
Queen Elizabeth
Joan of Arc
Joseph Smith's Mother
Sis Barbara Smith R.S Pres
Sis Elaine Cannon YW
Sis Young Primary
It's important to remember that home and family come first.
Mother should have a testimony of the Gospel/
The Devil is at work. We must teach our children to resist temptation. .
How does my child live? Teach Prayer and the value of prayer and the strength of prayer. Family prayer - frequent prayer.
Teach honesty- Discipline ourselves so we can discipline our children. Hold Family Home Evening.
Positive encouragement. Encourage husband and children in their private prayers. Make plans for the future, study the gospel. Follow Fam. Home Evening manual. Family is oldest institution and will only survive according to its strength.
Mother must teach love, sustain Father, teach children worthiness. Live during day so you can answer to Lord in prayer at night.
Choir sings "How Gentle Gods Commands"
Benediction by Sis Charlotte Fernly
May 4 1980
Up early. We had Sacrament, then ate breakfast. Packed the car. Off to the Coliseum. Ate picnic lunch between sessions. The Thompsons, our older couple missionaries joined us. Left after the afternoon session to head home. Stopped to eat dinner. (The Smiths treated) Got to the Smith's around 10:15 PM. Packed our stuff in the truck. Stopped at the Housenights and picked up our "new" couch. Home around midnight. Had family prayer- off to bed sure felt good to be in our own bed.
Friday, November 29, 2013
May 2 1980
Went into Heber today. Busy getting ready to leave. So many details to take care of. Bread to bake salads to fix. Picked bouquet of wild flowers for Mrs. Travis who is down sick. Baked cinnamon rolls for Chad- Mrs. Travis left on time and got to Smith's around 6:30 PM. There has been nothing but smiles and non-stop talk til late at nite. Family prayer and off to bed.
May 1 1980
Went into Heber today. Took Fran with me so she and Bob could sign up for unemployment. Did laundry and grocery shopping today. Started cooking for the weekend. Late nite again. Got a letter today from Stavanger, Norway with more info on our Genealogy. Joyous day. Robin and Mike stopped by today. Sure do find we rely on each other more and more. That's good.
April 30 1980
Up early to clean and get ready for Bob's Homecoming. Stopped at Inez's to say Hi! Bob home at about 7:30 PM. What exciting news he brings home. Lynn is planning on going on a mission. Grace who was at the Baptism, is very interested in the church, says Aunt Charlene. Deanne is investigating the Church in New Mexico. Bob's nephew, Glen and his fiance are now taking the preparatory lessons in Oregon. What great news, our whole family is beginning to see the truthfulness of the Gospel. Didn't get to bed till midnite.
April 29 1980
Beautiful weather, warm, breezy - Senator Musky was appointed as Secretary of State to replace Vance who resigned. Alfred Hitchcock died today at age of 80. Planted part of the garden today. Bob still not home. Got another letter from Sis. Smith today. She's still hung up on the word submission. She accepted the Primary teaching calling. I wrote her back and answered only the positive aspects of her letter. She sounds happy about our trip to Jackson Mississippi this coming weekend.
April 28 1980
Beautiful day today. Kids off to school. Cleaned house, put Branch Family into envelopes, waiting for stamps. Secretary of State Vance resigned today. World situation worsening. President Carter announced tonite that the Government Food Stamps Program may be cancelled. So glad we belong to the church so we don't have that worry. Bob didn't come home. His visit must be going well. Sure miss him and the kids let it be known today that they sure do to. Diet going well. Almost at the 10 lb mark. Hope to reach that in the next day or two.
April 27 1980
Sky is clearing, cool 44 degrees. We are ready to go to church, don't know if Robin and Mike will come after us. Robin and Mike never came. We had a quiet day today. The Fullos stopped by after church.
April 26 1980
Very overcast and drizzling this AM. Seemed strange to be able to sleep in. Woke up at regular intervals till finally got up at 6:30 AM. Cleaned up pine tops and burned all day. Robin, Mike and kids came over for a while around noon. We stopped at Inez's to visit a while after we were done. Set clocks ahead one hour.
April 25 1980
Up at 4:30 AM - Bob ate breakfast and was on his way by 5:15 AM. Just heard on TV there was an attempt to rescue the hostages in Iran. It failed because of equipment failure. 8 Amer. Servicemen dead. Supposed to rain all day today with one to three more inches. No severe weather. Have lost 6 lbs - 214 lbs. Diet seems easy to stick to. Ate crackers and butter yesterday, could kick myself. Bob brought me lots of fresh fruits and vegetables. Rainy on and off.
April 24 1980
Quiet day. Clear and sunny again today. Getting Bob packed and ready to go. Laundry in and folded, ironing done. Clouds moving in. Bob all packed and ready to go. Rain coming during the night. Started around 10 PM.
April 23 1980
Brought Robin a Mimosa tree from Inez. Robin and I tilled and worked in her garden all day. Boy I'm tired. Bob leaving Friday AM to go to Tucson to baptize Lynn.
April 22 1980
Stopped at Inez to say Hi - they are about to put a garden in. Went to Robin's to do wash. Lynn called, was so good to hear her voice. Bob came home - announced that he was going to be laid-off as of Thursday. That's O.K. he was offered a job at the Church. Day one of diet- 220 lbs.
April 21 1980
Beautiful weather - in the 60's and clear - garden ought to do well at this temp. Temp 86 degrees this afternoon. It's at least that temp in the house. Dishes done, house clean, got all the paperwork out of the way. Dogwoods blooming spatter the landscape and everyday the forest grows greener. Garden looked good this AM, after this heat I'm afraid to look. Got a package from Karen today. Herb tea, cookies, raisins, gum, fruit leather and a Birthday card.
April 20 1980
Beautiful day at church. I taught the social relations lesson on Intelligence Cleaveth. It went well. Sis. Dew and Sis. Buchannan had a good visit and got everything straightened out as far as Relief Society is concerned. Had a long talk with the Smith's after they had a long talk with Randy. If only Sis. Smith wasn't so hung up on herself. She has a real problem with the word "submission". Cliff was released as the Elders Quorum Zone Leader - he is feeling down too! They seemed in good spirits when they left. We'll see what the week brings. Stopped at the Swopes and McCarthys to Home Teach and Visit Teach. They have a really neat garden, lots of fruit trees. We watched Beyond and Back. To bed.
April 19 1980
Worked in the garden almost all day getting it ready to plant. Bought pepper and tomato plants, transplanted rhubarb, planted carrots, beets and onions. Tonite I'm tired and sore.
April 18 1980
Little Kitty had three kittens during the night one charcoal grey and white, one lt grey and white, and one white and a grey patch on head and grey tail. Raining this morning, foggy. Cleaned house, went back to bed till noon. Bob's airline tickets arrived today. Stopped to see Inez and Fran. Their fine. Transplanted plum trees to flower bed out front. Ralph walked over to Inez house, he had trouble getting home. Boys haven't come home - must be over at Inez's. The sun has been shining since noon - clouds overhead but no threat of rain. Bullet had been standing guard over Little Kitty and her babies. There is a strange union between that cat and dog, a real love. Worked in the garden some. Radishes, Broccoli and cabbage, garlic all up. Hope to plant flower seeds this evening.
April 17 1980
Tore Living Rm. apart early this AM. Robin came over for me to go with her to register Melissa at school. Have been trying to put the downstairs back together again. Thunder this afternoon. Got a letter from Karen. Raining.
April 16 1980
Beautiful warm sunny day. Wish I was up to enjoying it. My overweight condition is hampering my enjoyment of life. Sent to Claudia Creason for the ingredients to start my diet. I would like to lose 40 - 50 lbs. by the time we go to the Temple. No word from any of the kids. Got some ironing and mending done. Supposed to start raining manana.
April 15 1980
Temperature cold - 32 degrees but skies clear. Temp up to 60 - 70 range, sunny and pretty. Spring flowers all over the forest. nothing in the mail today. I must learn patience. Must start getting Bob's clothes ready for his trip to Tucson. He leaves in 10 days. Some days like today I really get to thinking about my children. I feel a consuming loneliness for them. I have not heard from Jim since Dayle went to New Jersey to be with him. I have so much trouble keeping from having hurt feelings. I feel so shut out and I don't even know why. Somehow I've done something wrong. I guess I was too truthful. I'll have a lifetime to regret. I just feel badly that Dad has to be punished too. I guess Lynn is the only one of Bob's girls that hasn't turned against us. I don't care for myself, but it really hurts Bob. I sure do miss all the kids and wish I could see them all soon.
April 14 1980
Snowed most of the night and is flurrying this morning. Cold, 32 degrees. Got lots to do today. Inez will need water unless she can get out. School is going to be held, I guess. Snow stopped mid-morning. Made six batches of wild grape jelly this AM and bread and rolls. Quiet day today. Bob feeling better tonite. He had an upset stomach last night.
April 13 1980
Today is Stake Conference is Jacksonville. We will not be going, instead we will be going to the Fullo's for Sacrament, Bible study and dinner. Rained almost all night and has been raining and cold all day today. Jonesboro station just announced that the forecast is for rain mixed with snow. The announcer can hardly believe his ears. I can believe it because it feels so cold. It is difficult to believe but it started to snow on the way to Robin and Mikes' and before we left there was already two inches on the ground, and it is still coming down. Inez came home today. One of her pipes broke so she, her sister and niece came over for water. We stopped by on the way home to be sure all is well. Talked to President Hilkinson on the phone and he told me to do nothing about Sis. Smith. He also received a letter and she does it to get attention. I feel much better.
April 12 1980
Cloudy day, cooler than it has been. We got a lot of cook stove wood cut and I got the kitchen cleaned. Lazy day. Got a belated Birthday card from Ken. Bob and I do agree on Sis. Smith. Spent several hours reading scriptures regarding this situation with her. Quiet evening.
April 11 1980
Overcast today. When I get the wash done it ought to rain. Finished the laundry, and the weather is worsening. Severe storm warnings, tornado watches and warnings. It is raining really hard. Got a letter from Sis. Smith today. She is becoming a real test to my testimony. Tuesday our hour conversation was directed to her claim that Bro. Joens is teaching "false doctrine". Today's letter is directed at me claiming I don't understand that I am my brothers keeper. I have called for a consultation with President Hilkinson. I have talked with Robin and Bob about this and I have decided not to tackle this alone.
April 10 1980
Beautiful day today. Clear skies and sunny. A good day for walking in the forest to look at the spring flowers.
April 9 1980
Kyle home sick again today. Worked on our genealogy today, cleaned house. Bro. and Sis. Plumb came to visit around noon. It is always so good to see them. Bad storms on the 7th, but beautiful weather ever since. Bob is working as a carpenter for a few weeks - added pay and presige. He finds it more rewarding. State income tax return check arrived today. $22.80? Not much, but it helped.
April 8 1980
This was the first Homemaking Day with all three counselors and president in attendance. Sis. Buchannan is so knowledgable about the Relief Society and I'm sure will enhance our Relief Society. Sis. Smith is giving us a lot of static. Sis. Dew is very negative. Talked at great length with Sis. Smith and I think we cleared the air. Sis. Dew walked out mad. Sis Buchannan is going to visit with her and isolate the problems. The Presidency must remember to discuss problems in private. Sis. Walls was home ill and so Sis. Buchannan did her lesson. Fair turnout for Quilting - no one showed up for the flannel board project. We had a presidency meeting after everyone left. Kyle was home sick today.
April 5 1980
Received a birthday gift from Lynn today. She will be baptized April 26th in Tucson. Bob will go out and baptize her. What a joyous day. My mother completed the day by sending her consent for me to be sealed to Dad. Tomorrow is General Conference, Easter Sunday, the 150th Anniversary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and My Birthday, and not the least - the Birthday of Christ. Relief Society Second Counselor will be released and set apart tomorrow.
14 December 1994
Up early to change clothes. I'm swollen and tired. Bob up and feeling good - swelling in throat down.
IV's disconnected - heparin lock in for anti-biotics.
Dressing taken off and Bob took a shower. We went for a walk.
Dr. Mason came and discussed the surgery - removed 2 discs and fused bone grafts in. Limited activity for 3 wks. Cannot resume normal activity for 16 wks. Bob can go home tomorrow - early. Bob eating good and looking forward to going home - he's taking - Colace [..cut..] Calcium - Tagamet, deckagron - {steroid - like drug)
IV's disconnected - heparin lock in for anti-biotics.
Dressing taken off and Bob took a shower. We went for a walk.
Dr. Mason came and discussed the surgery - removed 2 discs and fused bone grafts in. Limited activity for 3 wks. Cannot resume normal activity for 16 wks. Bob can go home tomorrow - early. Bob eating good and looking forward to going home - he's taking - Colace [..cut..] Calcium - Tagamet, deckagron - {steroid - like drug)
13 December 1994
Arose a little p (with a line over it) [post] 5am - Finished packing, animal chores, etc. Left for LR abt 7am. - dropped Juanita's gift off at the clinic and headed for LR. Got to BMC [Baptist Medical Center] abt 9:15am and had a little breakfast - Bob has been NPO [nothing by mouth] since midnight. Checked Bob in at admissions and they took him to pre-op -
Abt 11am I was allowed to go be with Bob and I read scriptures to him Helaman 10, 11, & 12. I just really can't understand how anyone can read the B[ook] of Mormon and Not believe! Gary - the nurse, gave Bob his pre-op meds about 12:45 and they took him to surgery. I feel really apprehensive about this surgery. I don't know what I would do if anything happened to Bob. He is so much of who I am. I know we knew each other in the Spirit world and that we belong together - here and in eternity!
3:45pm Dr. Mason came to waiting room to tell me Bob was out of surgery. It was more extensive than he had thought. But surg went well; Good grafts in place
Should be able to go home Wed night or Thurs pm. Calls made to Lynn - not in office - Sandy - who will make calls - Ken Defani and Sandy Thurman at Health Dept.
Bob will be in recovery for 1 1/2 hrs and then will go to a room.
5:15 Bob in Rm 527 - Looks good
Cut R[ight] side front neck - Bandaged
Bob is alert and making jokes - Settled in some private room - washed shoulders and upper back - it was sticky with Betadine & blood. I called Pres. Sherwood
I read more to him in Helaman and then he got up to the bathroom and ate dinner. I went and got dinner in the cafeteria. He asked for pain meds. I called Diane Spill [sp?].
Lynn called - she wanted to be dad was a-ok - Susie is back on full time. Chemo and still working - Birdie went to Germany and is doing better. Lynn also wanted to reassure us that she would help out financially if dad's recovery took 16 w[ee]ks.
9pm - Bob got IM [intra-muscular] pain meds and is sleeping now.
Rough nite - Bob did well - roommate up & down all night.
Abt 11am I was allowed to go be with Bob and I read scriptures to him Helaman 10, 11, & 12. I just really can't understand how anyone can read the B[ook] of Mormon and Not believe! Gary - the nurse, gave Bob his pre-op meds about 12:45 and they took him to surgery. I feel really apprehensive about this surgery. I don't know what I would do if anything happened to Bob. He is so much of who I am. I know we knew each other in the Spirit world and that we belong together - here and in eternity!
3:45pm Dr. Mason came to waiting room to tell me Bob was out of surgery. It was more extensive than he had thought. But surg went well; Good grafts in place
Should be able to go home Wed night or Thurs pm. Calls made to Lynn - not in office - Sandy - who will make calls - Ken Defani and Sandy Thurman at Health Dept.
Bob will be in recovery for 1 1/2 hrs and then will go to a room.
5:15 Bob in Rm 527 - Looks good
Cut R[ight] side front neck - Bandaged
Bob is alert and making jokes - Settled in some private room - washed shoulders and upper back - it was sticky with Betadine & blood. I called Pres. Sherwood
I read more to him in Helaman and then he got up to the bathroom and ate dinner. I went and got dinner in the cafeteria. He asked for pain meds. I called Diane Spill [sp?].
Lynn called - she wanted to be dad was a-ok - Susie is back on full time. Chemo and still working - Birdie went to Germany and is doing better. Lynn also wanted to reassure us that she would help out financially if dad's recovery took 16 w[ee]ks.
9pm - Bob got IM [intra-muscular] pain meds and is sleeping now.
Rough nite - Bob did well - roommate up & down all night.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
1 May 1994
Lab here draws blood - Telemetry here to run clear tape - X-Ray - for chest - Wht. down 4# I weighed - down 6# B/P 110/60 temp 98.4 Wt 178 - Breakfast - eating well - Resp [illegible] - here Bob up to 2100.
We'll walk in a while.
Dr. Ransom in - took out the cardiac probes - Bob can go home tomorrow if he doesn't have any problems.
Dr. Hicks in to see Bob Mary Lou & George Swope here -
Judy & Ken Dows & children here to visit
Lynn, Jim & Rose called
Lynn coming next weekend - will drive here from St. Louis - Rose gave me names of good cookbooks
Bobs breathing better - up to 2500.
Walked a total of 5 times
We'll walk in a while.
Dr. Ransom in - took out the cardiac probes - Bob can go home tomorrow if he doesn't have any problems.
Dr. Hicks in to see Bob Mary Lou & George Swope here -
Judy & Ken Dows & children here to visit
Lynn, Jim & Rose called
Lynn coming next weekend - will drive here from St. Louis - Rose gave me names of good cookbooks
Bobs breathing better - up to 2500.
Walked a total of 5 times
30 April 1994
Bob slept til 5am - he feels better. I cleaned him up - brushed teeth, back rub, by 6:45 he was asleep again.
2 bouts of trots
Dr. Hicks in - will change meds to see if we can stop his diarrhea.
Dr. Fiser's nurse in O2 level 96 - great. B/P up 107/60. Tomorrow - x-ray - ECG - bloodwork
Bob is exhausted - sleeps a lot today
Walks this afternoon - feels better - has not been to the bathroom. Pres & Mary Sherwood visit - they are so uplifting. Bro Williams visits also.
The diarrhea seems to have stopped and what a difference it has made in Bob's attitude.
He eats dinner - then sleeps
Our nurse is Dina and she is from Chieti, Italy - located in central Italy. She says it's built on a hill by the Romans - there are still Roman ruins there. It is a small village - but pretty.
Dr Fiser - associate Dr. Ransom visits - new meds may help ["c" with a line over it or "without"] c diarrhea but may create problems with rhythm of heart.
David & Molly visit tonite.
No pit-stops since early am.
Up around 3:30am to pot & pain meds
2 bouts of trots
Dr. Hicks in - will change meds to see if we can stop his diarrhea.
Dr. Fiser's nurse in O2 level 96 - great. B/P up 107/60. Tomorrow - x-ray - ECG - bloodwork
Bob is exhausted - sleeps a lot today
Walks this afternoon - feels better - has not been to the bathroom. Pres & Mary Sherwood visit - they are so uplifting. Bro Williams visits also.
The diarrhea seems to have stopped and what a difference it has made in Bob's attitude.
He eats dinner - then sleeps
Our nurse is Dina and she is from Chieti, Italy - located in central Italy. She says it's built on a hill by the Romans - there are still Roman ruins there. It is a small village - but pretty.
Dr Fiser - associate Dr. Ransom visits - new meds may help ["c" with a line over it or "without"] c diarrhea but may create problems with rhythm of heart.
David & Molly visit tonite.
No pit-stops since early am.
Up around 3:30am to pot & pain meds
Saturday, November 23, 2013
29 April 1994
1:30am - Bob is awake with cramps and we head for his favorite room.
2:30am - Still up and same old, same old. He is so exhausted and tired of the bathroom
3:00am - Back to bed.
Dr Fiser's nurse was in - Bl Count way down
Bl Pressure 90/60 O2 - 91 - considering idea of another transfusion temp 99.2
15 trips to the bathroom - Lomotil does not seem to be working
Dr. Hicks in - says Bob doing well - Stool culture ordered
Walked x3 in hall -
Tom arrived - late afternoon - took me to Target to get socks for dad.
Nurse Toon from CCU here to visit Bob - she's so sweet - Her boyfriend came by
Mike & Angie called.
Last bout of diarrhea about 10pm - Bob took pain meds / and sleeps - slept all night
He is also getting indoril - to slow heart beat down.
Nutritionist/Dietician came to talk 2 us.
2:30am - Still up and same old, same old. He is so exhausted and tired of the bathroom
3:00am - Back to bed.
Dr Fiser's nurse was in - Bl Count way down
Bl Pressure 90/60 O2 - 91 - considering idea of another transfusion temp 99.2
15 trips to the bathroom - Lomotil does not seem to be working
Dr. Hicks in - says Bob doing well - Stool culture ordered
Walked x3 in hall -
Tom arrived - late afternoon - took me to Target to get socks for dad.
Nurse Toon from CCU here to visit Bob - she's so sweet - Her boyfriend came by
Mike & Angie called.
Last bout of diarrhea about 10pm - Bob took pain meds / and sleeps - slept all night
He is also getting indoril - to slow heart beat down.
Nutritionist/Dietician came to talk 2 us.
28 April 1994
Busy day today - Tape off chest, incision and leg incisions - O2 cannula out. Walked the hall before lunch.
Breathing tx not going well.
Dr Hicks in to visit - dia[rrh]ea sets in - the accidents are embarrasing to Bob
He continues to try to do all that he is told to do.
Dr Fiser in - c/o pain around L shoulder blad[e] - he thinks it's pleur[is]y
Bobs temp is 99 at afternoon V.S. [vital signs] and 99.2 at evening VS
Bro Moody & Elder Dade here to visit
Floral Arrangement from Rose -
Floral Arrangement from Skil - Mini line
Card from Mike Graham
Quiet evening - we watch t.v.
Breathing tx not going well.
Dr Hicks in to visit - dia[rrh]ea sets in - the accidents are embarrasing to Bob
He continues to try to do all that he is told to do.
Dr Fiser in - c/o pain around L shoulder blad[e] - he thinks it's pleur[is]y
Bobs temp is 99 at afternoon V.S. [vital signs] and 99.2 at evening VS
Bro Moody & Elder Dade here to visit
Floral Arrangement from Rose -
Floral Arrangement from Skil - Mini line
Card from Mike Graham
Quiet evening - we watch t.v.
27 April 1994
Awake at 4am - I do "busy" work - fold clothes - get dressed - sort through stuff. I wish I could just roll over and see him - I think I could sleep then.
Robin, Jim & Lynn are going home today.
Ken will leave in the am tomorrow - I think or maybe today. I'm beginning to worry about money.
8:00am - Bob looking great - chest tubes out - BID probe in groin out - Eating Breakfast. IV's out
1:30ap Moved to private room on the 9th floor.
Ken makes masking look easy - he's coming down with grunge
Marsha and Jerry here to visit in CVICU
Karen Reynolds & Sonya Nix here to visit
Ken takes Robin to airport around 3pm and Jim leaves at 5pm and Lynn 6.
Ken leaves for home - All is quiet.
Ken Defani visits a while. Brings envelope with over $50.00 from Skil employees.
I will stay in room tonight.
Robin, Jim & Lynn are going home today.
Ken will leave in the am tomorrow - I think or maybe today. I'm beginning to worry about money.
8:00am - Bob looking great - chest tubes out - BID probe in groin out - Eating Breakfast. IV's out
1:30ap Moved to private room on the 9th floor.
Ken makes masking look easy - he's coming down with grunge
Marsha and Jerry here to visit in CVICU
Karen Reynolds & Sonya Nix here to visit
Ken takes Robin to airport around 3pm and Jim leaves at 5pm and Lynn 6.
Ken leaves for home - All is quiet.
Ken Defani visits a while. Brings envelope with over $50.00 from Skil employees.
I will stay in room tonight.
26 April 1994
4:30a arise -
5:30a With Father - pre-op given we had prayer and I read the scriptures to him til he slept
7:15a OR nurse came for Bob -
10:25a Dr [P]fizer came out to talk to us and tell us Bob had a triple by-pass and did well and was being moved to CVICU
10:45a We all went into CVICU to see Bob - he was on a ventilator with tubes from everywhere - IV's blood (his own thank heavens) The nurse explained everything
in deep sleep
12:45p Fifteen minutes to visit - he is still very sedated - still on a ventilator - opened eyes and made facial gestures which I failed to understand. Nurse says he's doing well.
opens eyes
5:00p Bob responsive and breathing on his own. They remove the respirator and gastric tube - he sounds like Donald Duck and is telling jokes. Lynn crying in relief.
8:30p Bob looking good and glad to see us. We take turns seeing him and at 9pm finally tuck him in for the night. Lynn crying in relief.
Ken is feeling grungy!
Note: to date we have had phone calls from friends and family
Ken Defani
Ken Dows
Pauline Wassler
Suzie Nation
Karen Stratz
Kyle Ewald
David and Molly
Mary Sherwood
Charlotte Powers
The Harmons
Dot & Bob Rice
Gracie Pinkham
Sherry
Rose Ewald
Jodie Ewald
Don Beane
Sandy Ewald
Martha Thomas
Judy Dows
Margie James
Pauline & Phil Wassler
MaryLou & George Swope
Pres Talbot
Mary & Gary Sherwood
Martha Thomas
5:30a With Father - pre-op given we had prayer and I read the scriptures to him til he slept
7:15a OR nurse came for Bob -
10:25a Dr [P]fizer came out to talk to us and tell us Bob had a triple by-pass and did well and was being moved to CVICU
10:45a We all went into CVICU to see Bob - he was on a ventilator with tubes from everywhere - IV's blood (his own thank heavens) The nurse explained everything
in deep sleep
12:45p Fifteen minutes to visit - he is still very sedated - still on a ventilator - opened eyes and made facial gestures which I failed to understand. Nurse says he's doing well.
opens eyes
5:00p Bob responsive and breathing on his own. They remove the respirator and gastric tube - he sounds like Donald Duck and is telling jokes. Lynn crying in relief.
8:30p Bob looking good and glad to see us. We take turns seeing him and at 9pm finally tuck him in for the night. Lynn crying in relief.
Ken is feeling grungy!
Note: to date we have had phone calls from friends and family
Ken Defani
Ken Dows
Pauline Wassler
Suzie Nation
Karen Stratz
Kyle Ewald
David and Molly
Mary Sherwood
Charlotte Powers
The Harmons
Dot & Bob Rice
Gracie Pinkham
Sherry
Rose Ewald
Jodie Ewald
Don Beane
Sandy Ewald
Martha Thomas
Judy Dows
Margie James
Pauline & Phil Wassler
MaryLou & George Swope
Pres Talbot
Mary & Gary Sherwood
Martha Thomas
Sunday, November 17, 2013
25 April 1994
6am - awoke - good nights sleep - feeling ap[p]rehensive - may be my struggle with my Heavenly Father to resist accepting the possibility that today may be the day I am separated from my eternal partner for a time. Then again may be that my faith is weak and I need a blessing of comfort and strength.
Ken takes us shopping for Bathrobe/Slippers for Dad.
Bob looks tired today and he is worried about the surgery.
Missionaries here in evening - Ken/Miss assist - give me a blessing. What power there is in the Priesthood. I know we will be blessed with many more years together.
O.R. Nurse / Supervisor was in to visit with Bob. A charming Christian man who explains what will happen, in detail. They shave his body - top side in preparation for surgery tomorrow.
Dr. Fizer in to check on Bob.
Bad storms tonight
Ken takes us shopping for Bathrobe/Slippers for Dad.
Bob looks tired today and he is worried about the surgery.
Missionaries here in evening - Ken/Miss assist - give me a blessing. What power there is in the Priesthood. I know we will be blessed with many more years together.
O.R. Nurse / Supervisor was in to visit with Bob. A charming Christian man who explains what will happen, in detail. They shave his body - top side in preparation for surgery tomorrow.
Dr. Fizer in to check on Bob.
Bad storms tonight
24 April 1994
Ken arrived early am - visited with Bob
Ken, Lynn and I go to Sacrament Mtg
11am Jody leaves in am for Florida
CCU Educator comes to show us video and explain what will happen during his surgery.
4pm Rose leaves for Dallas
Dr. Fizer in to let us know that he has two surgeries scheduled for Monday before dad - offered us another surgeon or a Tuesday first thing time for surgery. We opted for Tues. am.
Jim is playing chauffer
c/o chest tightness
Nurse with an "attitude" on today - Jim & I will find out.
Ken, Lynn and I go to Sacrament Mtg
11am Jody leaves in am for Florida
CCU Educator comes to show us video and explain what will happen during his surgery.
4pm Rose leaves for Dallas
Dr. Fizer in to let us know that he has two surgeries scheduled for Monday before dad - offered us another surgeon or a Tuesday first thing time for surgery. We opted for Tues. am.
Jim is playing chauffer
c/o chest tightness
Nurse with an "attitude" on today - Jim & I will find out.
23 April 1994
Rose, Jody & Robin arrive and spend time with Bob.
Mary and Gary Sherwood visit with Bob
Mary slips $60.00 in my hand as they leave
Pres Talbot comes to visit
c/o [complains of] chest tightness today.
Mary and Gary Sherwood visit with Bob
Mary slips $60.00 in my hand as they leave
Pres Talbot comes to visit
c/o [complains of] chest tightness today.
22 April 1994
Bob is scheduled for an Angiogram this am.
Angiogram done -
[hand drawn diagram of 2 blockages and "new artery grown to compensate for blockage"
Dr. Hicks explains - they found 2 blockages - maybe 3
Surgery will be scheduled for Mon
c/o [complaints of] Chest tightness
Angiogram done -
[hand drawn diagram of 2 blockages and "new artery grown to compensate for blockage"
Dr. Hicks explains - they found 2 blockages - maybe 3
Surgery will be scheduled for Mon
c/o [complaints of] Chest tightness
21 April 1994
Today began as just another day - a day that I was to go to work at the Health Dept and so I was up around 5:30am, Bob & I are slow to rise these days but once up seem to function mechanically ... dress, brush teeth, animal chores, trash .. Family first video in van for Ken Defane. Bob drinks breakfast (Slim Fast) and then he gathers our lunches. This morning he insists on stopping to feed and water the duck and then we're off. I am busy now crocheting a baby afghan and most of the way I discuss with Bob my feelings about family - time and quality - or rather - lack of it. I question how we will teach our children what family is all about if we are not the example.
Just past the dam, on the bypass, Bob pulls over to the side of the road. I ask if we are having mechanical problems and he reassures me we are not. I ask why we have pulled over - he responds by telling me he doesn't feel well - numbness - chest tightness. At this I lifted my gaze from my lap of crocheting and looked at bob - eye to eye - he looked pale and grey - sweaty - and very ill.
I knew what I had to do. I got out of the van and ran around to the drivers side, I got in behind the wheel. It was a real struggle - but I knew I had to do something. I drove to the intersection of the by-pass and hwy 110. I had to decide which way to go - Bob suggested Hwy 110 through town. His color was worse and he asked that I pull off as he thought he was going to be sick. He wasn't - we continued. We were in town when Bob stumped over - I thought he was dead. He sat up again - he continued to look worse. I sped through town, arriving at the [Clebourne County] CC Hospital Emergency entrance. My body was wedged in and difficult to remove from the van but I did and ran into the ER. I spotted a nurse and screamed for help. The ER came alive - nurses with wheel chairs - calls being made - doctors arriving - Bob was on a gurney - they were running EKG's and starting IV's - so much was happening so fast. I called Ken Defane - he and Ken Dows came. I called the Health Dept. - Hazel came. Dr. Vaughan came - x-rays being taken - blood being drawn - meds administered IV - monitors hooked up - Bob looks terrible.
They confirm that he is having a heart attack. The Dr. speaks to me of a new medication - Strepto Kynase that dissolves clots and stops the heart attack. Bob agrees although there are side effects - hemorhage - stroke .. so I agree. They watch for bleeding - he is vomiting now - blood in basin - they have sent for Med-Flight to transport him to Little Rock to Baptist Med Ctr. Ken Dows & Ron Tillman administer a blessing to him. So many decisions - I just can't deal with this. I call Lynn - Ken is getting his wife to come after me to take me to L.R. Hel[i]copter arrives and the transfer begins. The flight person[n]el are great - he leaves in the hel[i]copter headed to Little Rock.
We take the Vanagon to the Health Dept. to leave it. All my friends at the Health Dept wish Bob well. They have taken up a collection and it is much needed. We leave for L.R. Judy is easy to talk to and changes the conversation to positive, constructive things. We eat and make lists all the way to L.R. Bob is in CCU and again hooked up to multiple IV's and monitors. Jim arrives from Phoenix, Lynn arrives from Wash D.C. When Bob is stable we go home to do laundry, feed animals and make decisions. I don't sleep well - I really want to be near Bob. Dr. Hicks visits
Just past the dam, on the bypass, Bob pulls over to the side of the road. I ask if we are having mechanical problems and he reassures me we are not. I ask why we have pulled over - he responds by telling me he doesn't feel well - numbness - chest tightness. At this I lifted my gaze from my lap of crocheting and looked at bob - eye to eye - he looked pale and grey - sweaty - and very ill.
I knew what I had to do. I got out of the van and ran around to the drivers side, I got in behind the wheel. It was a real struggle - but I knew I had to do something. I drove to the intersection of the by-pass and hwy 110. I had to decide which way to go - Bob suggested Hwy 110 through town. His color was worse and he asked that I pull off as he thought he was going to be sick. He wasn't - we continued. We were in town when Bob stumped over - I thought he was dead. He sat up again - he continued to look worse. I sped through town, arriving at the [Clebourne County] CC Hospital Emergency entrance. My body was wedged in and difficult to remove from the van but I did and ran into the ER. I spotted a nurse and screamed for help. The ER came alive - nurses with wheel chairs - calls being made - doctors arriving - Bob was on a gurney - they were running EKG's and starting IV's - so much was happening so fast. I called Ken Defane - he and Ken Dows came. I called the Health Dept. - Hazel came. Dr. Vaughan came - x-rays being taken - blood being drawn - meds administered IV - monitors hooked up - Bob looks terrible.
They confirm that he is having a heart attack. The Dr. speaks to me of a new medication - Strepto Kynase that dissolves clots and stops the heart attack. Bob agrees although there are side effects - hemorhage - stroke .. so I agree. They watch for bleeding - he is vomiting now - blood in basin - they have sent for Med-Flight to transport him to Little Rock to Baptist Med Ctr. Ken Dows & Ron Tillman administer a blessing to him. So many decisions - I just can't deal with this. I call Lynn - Ken is getting his wife to come after me to take me to L.R. Hel[i]copter arrives and the transfer begins. The flight person[n]el are great - he leaves in the hel[i]copter headed to Little Rock.
We take the Vanagon to the Health Dept. to leave it. All my friends at the Health Dept wish Bob well. They have taken up a collection and it is much needed. We leave for L.R. Judy is easy to talk to and changes the conversation to positive, constructive things. We eat and make lists all the way to L.R. Bob is in CCU and again hooked up to multiple IV's and monitors. Jim arrives from Phoenix, Lynn arrives from Wash D.C. When Bob is stable we go home to do laundry, feed animals and make decisions. I don't sleep well - I really want to be near Bob. Dr. Hicks visits
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
1 Jan 1999
Source:
Letter addressed to Ken Ewald, 801 NW 40th St. Lincoln, NE 68528 from "Ewald" 1815 Lucas Rd. Knightdale, NC 27545
Content:
Dearest Ken,
I was going to do all this on the E-Mail but computers... having a mind of their own...well here I am doing the snail-mail thing instead. This year on your Birthday I thought I would write to you and share some thoughts with your so please bear with me while I reminisce a bit.
I remember the very first time I ever saw you.....lying in a bassinet beside my hospital bed....bare naked..... and wailing to let the world know of your arrival. You were so white....and your hair seemed so red....and I wondered whose child you were and why didn't they come pick you up and comfort you?
You reminded me of Van Johnson....(he was an actor....long since dead) and I thought you would grow up to be an airline pilot..Silly the things you think of. When I found out that the child was mine I rejoiced because you were so perfect in every way...I checked all your little fingers and toes and was so amazed at how very complete your small body was....You were perfection! And for the first time in nine months I didn't start the day clinging to the now familiar porcelain throne! You had a quick smile and made these cute little cooing sounds when you were happy. You slept thru the night right away and never gave me a moments worry. Your siblings loved you beyond measure....Jim would spend long hours beside you......talking to you and telling you of his adventures for the day....and later would wonder why you always wanted to be with him.....guess he made life sound really exciting.I can recall from time to time thinking of your future....what would you grow up to be? I knew that you would be the best at whatever you chose to do. You were always the child I could rely on...if you said you were going to be home by 3p.m.....you were home by 3 p.m....if you told me you would wash the dishes then I could count on the dishes being washed....you always kept your word....and I could trust you to do what you said you would do......a quality I still admire as one of your many strengths.
Far too quickly you saw brighter lights in New Jersey and you went to live with Frank...one of the hardest days of my life was putting you on the plane knowing that I might never see you again....and then wondered if I had done the right thing.I think you were given some new and very different opportunities while you were in New Jersey....some of which helped to mold the man you are now.
Over the years I have watched as you grew......I was so proud of you the day that you became an Eagle Scout and wished I could be there at the ceremony....and proud to be there when you graduated from High School. I guess when you told us you had been baptized was a really big moment for me...although I was still spiritually "young" and I knew it was a big step in your life. However, I would not understand that fully for a long time. I will never forget the night you called and told us you wanted to serve a mission...I have every letter you wrote home and from time to time I re-read them and feel your strengths and frustrations...your joys and pains....your growth in the gospel...and I am strengthened.
You came home from your mission and Our Heavenly Father blessed you with a wonderful Eternal Companion...I knew from the very beginning that this was a marriage that would be Eternal...I always think about how many struggles you and Sandy had from the beginning of your [relationship]..always wanting to do the right thing and in the end...marrying in the Temple. You will never know the joy my heart felt......as you and Sandy knelt across from each other and were sealed for time and all eternity.
You have always seemed to be able to see the eternal perspective of all things and I have admired you for that. You have known, somehow, how to strengthen your family when they need it most...and discipline when needed....some times I have mistaken your reactions because I have been far too sensitive...and react far too quickly....I am trying to learn not to react but to [prayerfully] consider the situation and then act appropriately. I will continue to work on that this year.
Another thing that I realize about you that absolutely puts me in awe of you...is not your ability to earn money...although that in itself is awesome...but your ability to maintain your lifestyle and keep your priorities in order. People tend to live to the maximum of their income....You seemingly have resisted this temptation.
Once you sent me a letter following a phone call that must have been very painful for you....you had been to the Bishop for financial help and it was a humbling experience. The letter was beautiful and I framed it and kept it next to my computer. I read and re-read it over the years because it gave me strength during the lean times. When your children are little it seems so easy for them to say.."I love you, Mom"..but when your children are grown and they thank you for all that you have been to them in their lives....that becomes really special. And for me...a treasure.
Something else that always makes me take stock of where I am...spiritually..is the way you always seem to find the good in everyone...I won't go into detail...just to say that it is a truly great quality that most of us lack.
You have such high standards for all your family...and maybe that is because you do see things in an eternal level. Sometimes it is difficult to meet all those standards because not all of us are up there where you are yet.....but until such a time as we grow sufficiently to reach those heights.
I am so grateful to you for your steadfastness in the gospel.It is a comfort to know that you and Sandy love us and that our mission is happening because you have sacrificed to make it happen.Maybe some day we will be able to find a way to show our appreciation. For right now we are striving to make this the most memorable mission ever and we hope we can impact our co-workers in a positive way that will leave the door open for further contacts from the church....We know this is the only true church on the face of this earth and that the gospel has been restored by Joseph Smith to the earth in these the latter days...and that temples will dot the earth in the end times....and that, through the Holy Priesthood powers...this very earth was created. We know that we have a prophet on this earth today, Gordon B Hinkley...who is such a great example to us.Having watched his tenderness with his sweet wife we were brought to tears. What finer teacher than one who practices what he teaches...
Suffice it to say that I love you beyond measure because of who you are.....and who you have become.....and who you will be in the years ahead. I could not have asked for a finer son....and My Heavenly Father has blessed me....I look forward to being an Eternal Family...
Signed "With great love - Mom"
Letter addressed to Ken Ewald, 801 NW 40th St. Lincoln, NE 68528 from "Ewald" 1815 Lucas Rd. Knightdale, NC 27545
Content:
Dearest Ken,
I was going to do all this on the E-Mail but computers... having a mind of their own...well here I am doing the snail-mail thing instead. This year on your Birthday I thought I would write to you and share some thoughts with your so please bear with me while I reminisce a bit.
I remember the very first time I ever saw you.....lying in a bassinet beside my hospital bed....bare naked..... and wailing to let the world know of your arrival. You were so white....and your hair seemed so red....and I wondered whose child you were and why didn't they come pick you up and comfort you?
You reminded me of Van Johnson....(he was an actor....long since dead) and I thought you would grow up to be an airline pilot..Silly the things you think of. When I found out that the child was mine I rejoiced because you were so perfect in every way...I checked all your little fingers and toes and was so amazed at how very complete your small body was....You were perfection! And for the first time in nine months I didn't start the day clinging to the now familiar porcelain throne! You had a quick smile and made these cute little cooing sounds when you were happy. You slept thru the night right away and never gave me a moments worry. Your siblings loved you beyond measure....Jim would spend long hours beside you......talking to you and telling you of his adventures for the day....and later would wonder why you always wanted to be with him.....guess he made life sound really exciting.I can recall from time to time thinking of your future....what would you grow up to be? I knew that you would be the best at whatever you chose to do. You were always the child I could rely on...if you said you were going to be home by 3p.m.....you were home by 3 p.m....if you told me you would wash the dishes then I could count on the dishes being washed....you always kept your word....and I could trust you to do what you said you would do......a quality I still admire as one of your many strengths.
Far too quickly you saw brighter lights in New Jersey and you went to live with Frank...one of the hardest days of my life was putting you on the plane knowing that I might never see you again....and then wondered if I had done the right thing.I think you were given some new and very different opportunities while you were in New Jersey....some of which helped to mold the man you are now.
Over the years I have watched as you grew......I was so proud of you the day that you became an Eagle Scout and wished I could be there at the ceremony....and proud to be there when you graduated from High School. I guess when you told us you had been baptized was a really big moment for me...although I was still spiritually "young" and I knew it was a big step in your life. However, I would not understand that fully for a long time. I will never forget the night you called and told us you wanted to serve a mission...I have every letter you wrote home and from time to time I re-read them and feel your strengths and frustrations...your joys and pains....your growth in the gospel...and I am strengthened.
You came home from your mission and Our Heavenly Father blessed you with a wonderful Eternal Companion...I knew from the very beginning that this was a marriage that would be Eternal...I always think about how many struggles you and Sandy had from the beginning of your [relationship]..always wanting to do the right thing and in the end...marrying in the Temple. You will never know the joy my heart felt......as you and Sandy knelt across from each other and were sealed for time and all eternity.
You have always seemed to be able to see the eternal perspective of all things and I have admired you for that. You have known, somehow, how to strengthen your family when they need it most...and discipline when needed....some times I have mistaken your reactions because I have been far too sensitive...and react far too quickly....I am trying to learn not to react but to [prayerfully] consider the situation and then act appropriately. I will continue to work on that this year.
Another thing that I realize about you that absolutely puts me in awe of you...is not your ability to earn money...although that in itself is awesome...but your ability to maintain your lifestyle and keep your priorities in order. People tend to live to the maximum of their income....You seemingly have resisted this temptation.
Once you sent me a letter following a phone call that must have been very painful for you....you had been to the Bishop for financial help and it was a humbling experience. The letter was beautiful and I framed it and kept it next to my computer. I read and re-read it over the years because it gave me strength during the lean times. When your children are little it seems so easy for them to say.."I love you, Mom"..but when your children are grown and they thank you for all that you have been to them in their lives....that becomes really special. And for me...a treasure.
Something else that always makes me take stock of where I am...spiritually..is the way you always seem to find the good in everyone...I won't go into detail...just to say that it is a truly great quality that most of us lack.
You have such high standards for all your family...and maybe that is because you do see things in an eternal level. Sometimes it is difficult to meet all those standards because not all of us are up there where you are yet.....but until such a time as we grow sufficiently to reach those heights.
I am so grateful to you for your steadfastness in the gospel.It is a comfort to know that you and Sandy love us and that our mission is happening because you have sacrificed to make it happen.Maybe some day we will be able to find a way to show our appreciation. For right now we are striving to make this the most memorable mission ever and we hope we can impact our co-workers in a positive way that will leave the door open for further contacts from the church....We know this is the only true church on the face of this earth and that the gospel has been restored by Joseph Smith to the earth in these the latter days...and that temples will dot the earth in the end times....and that, through the Holy Priesthood powers...this very earth was created. We know that we have a prophet on this earth today, Gordon B Hinkley...who is such a great example to us.Having watched his tenderness with his sweet wife we were brought to tears. What finer teacher than one who practices what he teaches...
Suffice it to say that I love you beyond measure because of who you are.....and who you have become.....and who you will be in the years ahead. I could not have asked for a finer son....and My Heavenly Father has blessed me....I look forward to being an Eternal Family...
Signed "With great love - Mom"
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