April 15 1980

Temperature cold - 32 degrees but skies clear. Temp up to 60 - 70 range, sunny and pretty. Spring flowers all over the forest. nothing in the mail today. I must learn patience. Must start getting Bob's clothes ready for his trip to Tucson. He leaves in 10 days. Some days like today I really get to thinking about my children. I feel a consuming loneliness for them. I have not heard from Jim since Dayle went to New Jersey to be with him. I have so much trouble keeping from having hurt feelings. I feel so shut out and I don't even know why. Somehow I've done something wrong. I guess I was too truthful. I'll have a lifetime to regret. I just feel badly that Dad has to be punished too. I guess Lynn is the only one of Bob's girls that hasn't turned against us. I don't care for myself, but it really hurts Bob. I sure do miss all the kids and wish I could see them all soon.