Childhood (and other lapses of memory)
"When I was your age" I had only three chores- always left in various stages of completion. Somehow I always has something better to do.
One chore was my bedroom. I don't really remember why it was called the bedroom- most of the time finding the bed was a mere stroke of accident- something directly related to a miracle. I was always very careful about hanging my clothes on the rocking chair, and placing my shoes inside the bedroom door-somewhere. I was very systematic about my clothes closet.
Rule I Never hang clothes up in the closet unless it was empty and Mom was bordering hysteria.
Rule II When you run out of clean clothes before you run out of week- always raid moms closet (but only after she leaves for work)
Rule III Conveniently fail to remember where the hamper is. Dirty clothes are essential to one's memories. By looking through stacks of dirty clothes, one can recall the events of the past week (or two). Once the clothes are removed to the hamper all the memories of the past week events are totally erased (I guess that's one way to lose our childhood)
Another chore was the washing of the family clothes. A very traumatic event- erasing all those memories. Besides- it was hard work.
Step I Gather all the dirty clothes; we lived in a thirteen room house. Each room upstairs had a hamper. That was five hampers to empty and remove contents to the basement. By this time I had already missed at least half of one of my favorite cartoon shows.
Step II Put a load of clothes in the wash. This was always done with speed and efficiency. After all- no t.v. or radio in the basement and I wouldn't want to miss a thing.
Step III Go upstairs and plunk my butt in front of the TV and wait. Today I notice that kids wait for the commercials. Back when I was a kid I waited just long enough for moms nagging to end in "I'll do it myself!" I was then properly motivated (like ejection -for all intents- from a nosediving jet) and remove my completely relaxed body to the basement where I would hang one load and put another in the wash.
Step IV- Step ? Repeat above process only as many times as necessary to have Mom lose her voice, temper and (she's sure) her mind.
The last chore I had was the ironing. Many a strange phenomena occurred about this time (the ironing board and iron were located in the basement) Hopefully it would be after sunset by the time I got the wash done and having conveniently developed a "terrible fear" of the dark and damp, lonely basement, Mom surely wouldn't insist that I go the dungeon to iron. If that didn't work then I could sprain my wrist or insist that the iron "wasn't working right". If all else failed, I could always iron.
Gee I wish I had some childhood memories like everyone else.
Carolyn Jean Ewald Journals
Personal Journals of Carolyn Jean Rice/Beane/Ewald
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Sunday, December 1, 2013
January 10 1982
Sunday pm
I’m all settled in at Marge’s. I have my own room and bath and pretty much
“at home” privileges. Now all I need is
a job. After settling in, Jim and the
babies left and we just sat and talked.
Marge didn’t want to talk about what happened between she and Bob right
now, but it is very obvious it was painful.
Went to neighbors for “cocktails.” I drank lemonade while the rest drank
wine. They are lovely and friendly. Marge seems glad to have me. Hope I don’t wear out my welcome.
I’m feeling very detached from my family and church right
now. Almost a feeling of
abandonment. I guess I chose this cause
of action so I’ll have to stick with it.
I HAVE TO MAKE IT! Marge is very supportive as is Jim so I know I’ll
succeed. It, as usual, would be easier
with lots of support – maybe it’s not supposed to be easy.
January 9 1982
Saturday
Jim borrowed a friend’s car and we went downtown to do the
laundry. At this particular Laundromat
you pay 85 cents for the wash – the drying is fee. We came home in time to eat, change clothes
then run to Marge’s, then over to the Capitol to see the fireworks and laser
show. It was spectacular! I’ve never seen fireworks to compare.
Back to Marge’s for dinner.
We discussed my morning there.
She has a single bed for me and dresser.
I explained that I’m broke – she didn’t seem disturbed, but I explained
that as quickly as I’m employed I want to contribute to the home funds – she
said I could chip in for food. It will
be a quiet existence and I think I’m going to like that. Hope I can get a job right away. Sure could use one. Also, must get on with losing weight. These pig-outs have got to come to an
end.
I’ll be moving over to Marge’s sometime early this
afternoon. Would like to go over to the
capitol one day this week. They have
just fully restored it – it’s beautiful.
I’m a bit depressed over my church. Can it be me? I called for help from my
church and they’ve not even had the courtesy to call me back. I told them I was without a home, or money or
job and I’ve had no response from them.
I called again the other day and the Bishop’s wife sound annoyed that I
had called again. She said he was swamped. I guess he was too busy to even make a phone
call. I’m trying not to blow this up but
it keeps happening to me, time and time again.
Is this some kind of a refiners fire or is my church really that way,
telling me one thing, doing something else?
I’ve always been told – if you need help – call the church, but when I
do it never seems to offer me the kind of help I need. I’ll not call again. I’m very disappointed. How can I ask Jim to count on the church for
help when I, a member, can’t seem to get any.
I’ll write Bob later this morning.
Maybe he can offer me some suggestions.
January 8 1982
Friday
A really quiet day – made package choc chip cookies that
taste like soap – yuks! Today I feel
depressed and very, very disappointed in myself. I’m also tired of not having any money.
What a party tonight.
Lots of friends, beer pouring, wrestling, mucho laughs and jokes. Even a pater party. Most of the party was in good taste. It was over by 2 am.
January 7 1982
Thursday
Very cold (30 degrees).
Started the “drudge” this morning – and everything I need is in the
missing box – thrills. We go to dinner
at Marge’s tonight. Jim wants me to take
a bus to 21st street, downtown – he’ll meet us there.
Jim called and he’ll come get us at 5:30. I’ve been scrubbing the kitchen floor, it
really looks super. I feel like I’ve
learned my keep today! Cleaned the bath
then took a long hot shower, boy do I feel good. Think I’ll fix a hot cup of tea – then study
the scriptures. Yesterday I started
reading Job 1-20.
Thursday pm
Went to Marge’s for dinner.
I haven’t seen Marge for quite some time, but she hasn’t changed. Always cordial, warm and delightful. She has a lot of insight and
understanding. She has experienced so
much in her life.
Her apartment is gorgeous.
And one must be physically fit.
You enter the at ground level – the garage – up one flight – living room
with fire place, dining room, kitchen and bath.
Up one more flight – two very large bedrooms and two dressing rooms and
adjoining baths. One bedroom has a
balcony which overlooks a tremendous pool.
She said we could talk about my staying there with her. I might like that if there weren’t many
demands put on me. I don’t want to make
too many commitments til I hear from Bishop Saxton. But her place is right down town and I’m sure
there must be a job opening somewhere down there for me.
I also met the babysitter tonight. She’s young, with a young baby and is really
sweet and pleasant. I know the kids will
do fine once they are acclimated. Jim is
going to start taking them Monday – which means I’ll be free to look for a
job.
When we got back from Marge’s, John T and John C where
drinking and smoking pot. Dan doesn’t
seem to get into it – maybe his diabetes keeps him from it. Gail was already in bed.
Everyone finally crashed around 10:30 and so am I – I’m
bushed! We made a date with Marge for
Saturday afternoon to go to some Lasol Show Symphony. I suppose we’ll discuss my morning in. Then,
manana I’ll call the Bishops wife and see if I can get a clue.
January 6 1982
Wednesday
Gail and John got up about noon. They seem very pleasant. They left almost immediately to go pick up her
check, pay the rent and get groceries.
They returned later in the afternoon.
They were busy cleaning and repairing things. I tried to look busy even tho I was bored.
‘I made fried rice for dinner. Everyone but Dan ate – he wasn’t home. John T calls me “Mom.” He reminds me so much of Kenny. We had a really fun evening with everyone
with everyone at home and just enjoying one another.
To bed around 10 pm. – I slept well. The Bishop still didn’t call back and my box
of clothes is still cruising Sacramento.
January 5 1982
Tuesday
Alone in the house – I called Bishop Saxton – to see if I
could get some help finding a place to live and a job. Talked to Sis Saxton, she said she’d have the
bishop call back.
Jenny, John and I went for a walk around the
neighborhood. It was cold but fun.
Jim went grocery shopping tonite and we had tacos for
dinner. John and Dan drove to San
Francisco to pick up Gail and John at the San Francisco Airport. They arrived back home at about 2:30 am and
went directly to bed.
Still no clothes from Cindy’s trunk.
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