December 13 1981

Sunday

Bob did not go to church today.  I was released from my callings today.  Bro and Sis Swope came by after church today.  Ron and Bro Swope gave me a blessing.

I spent the whole day tying Jim’s quilt.  It’s all done but the finishing.  Mother Nature strikes again.  I’m almost finished packing.  Almost wish I was leaving manana. 

I still have very mixed feelings.  I’m truly worried about Tom.  I’m concerned about this feeling of detachment I have about my family.  Hope I can get this all sorted out.  I worry that Bob will be unfaithful.  I worry about his priorities.  I truly wonder what he is thinking and feeling about all this.  Suppose I am experiencing something new – being out on my own – alone – 44 years old and it finally happened.  A truly strange feeling.

I wonder if Ken is going to take this OK.  I don’t know what Bob will say to him.  I don’t want him to postpone his mission. 

Sure hope I can find a job real quick – like – so I can start sending money to Bob.  That will help.  I would like to pay my Mom, Sears and American Airlines.  The taxes will take care of themselves.  Oh well – enough speculation – to bed.  I’m tired – it’s been another emotional day.